Yesterday was difficult for me. It was a selfish emotion. I want so badly to help some people. I want to simply show them the way and have them walk behind me immediately. I hate that time is wasted. I hate that the revelation is not immediately recognized. I hate my emotion that pulls me so close that I feel the pain in the pit of my stomach. I am angered at my resentment.
Suddenly, I recalled the advice of a friend....peace is the referee. I discovered peace and remembered that if I took the "me" out of the equation....then I was at peace. I was content. I was exactly where I needed to be....doing exactly what I should be doing. There was now clarity in my mind. A door opened in the situation and God's light shined upon that moment. Words were spoken in truth - and received with an open heart. The seeds were planted. The night ended.
My lesson....for years I have wanted to control friends / loved one's to avoid their pain. When I realized that I should not have that desire......my "neediness" changed. I am sure the receiving end of my words, those ears / eyes / hearts, sense my dramatic need. Like all things done is desperation, most are not well received. Changing myself - changed the outcome and reception of the same message.
The truth is maybe others also know how good it can be....they are simply terrified to make the next steps. Encouragement was the lesson of the day - NOT desperation.
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