It is hard to be back in the US. I have unpacked my physical belongings and yet I feel like part of me is still over there. My heart is still there...my mind is still there. I am trying to settle back in and "adjust" to my regular duties of work - school work - and life in general. It is like I am walking in a dream. Talking to friends / family seem strange. Before I left my mind was consumed with the "how's" to make everything happen. Now I am still consumed with "how's".....but it is so overwhelming. I don't want to go to my job - what a waste of time? I know I need to make money to survive....but I have so many other things I want to do.
Be light......"how?"......allow God to work as He did before....."OK"........"how?"........
What is the lesson here? Not sure. Still trying to make my head stop spinning. It stops and then restarts when I begin to look at my laundry list of things I want to accomplish. Deep breathing and trying to practice some relaxation tools. Not really working.
Sleep....that is all I want to do is sleep. Then I dream. Travel rather. I am all over the place - back in Thailand, in places I don't know (yet), back home with family. I feel like my spirit is trying to settle back into it's physical "home" again.
Finals in school - two weeks behind - not a great time to disconnect spirit and mind. Just sayin......
"Peace is the referee"......praying that it comes.....but strangely I am not distraught. I am not agitated. I am not angry, hurt, upset,.......I am sad. I feel my heart breaking and I am sad. I suppose this is why I need to pray for peace. Answer my own question - eventually.
Prayerfully waiting on God and me to realign.
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